Self-Care or Self-ish

Tell me if any of this sounds familiar:

“How can I relax when there are people suffering everywhere?”

“But if I don’t help them, noone will!”

“I can’t just rest, there is too much to do.”

“It’s the right Christian thing - to think about others more than myself.”

“I help others to be a good example to my kids/students.”

IF these thoughts are yours, as they have been mine many times, then how do you rest?

How do you justify laying in a hammock for hours, reading a book, gently swaying . . .with dishes still in the sink, with hungry people needing food and homeless needing shelter. Can you? As a ‘good’ Christian person, can you rest and relax, be compassionate to yourself and bring your body and mind to a place of quiet stillness?

During one of my toughest seasons, I spent many hours in bed, on my left side, trying to wait patiently for a surgery. The pain was so bad that if I moved even slightly, it would increase exponentially! So I layed on my left side and it was awkward to read, write or even watch tv. So I looked at the trees. At the time, our room was on a second floor so I could just see the tips of the trees in my window. They swayed and swooshed back and forth with the wind. I watched for awhile in silence as the window was closed. I thought that I should probably pray but I didn’t have the energy for that, and the pain was so distracting. Then I realized that the trees were just swaying, rhythmically, gently, with a silent rhythm. So I decided to, in faith, let the trees pray for me. Each time they swayed to the left, I imagined praying something like, “God is faithful” and then as they swung over to the right side, bouncing before turning back, I’d pray, “Help me trust”. Then I’d repeat. No words actually were prayed from my mouth, the whole experience was in my head but, it transformed me. It was one of the most powerful prayer times I’ve had. I sensed the presence of God in my room, in the trees, in the burning feeling in my heart and the warm tears coming to my eyes.

“. . . I’m in the very presence of God ––oh, how refreshing it is! I’ve made Lord God my home. God I’m telling the world what you do!” Psalm 73 (The Message)

Our culture, families, churches, companies and advertising propose that a rest is only possible when you’ve made enough money, secured enough stuff, the right relationship, meaningful work and lifestyle privileges to be able to relax and enjoy. Then, go ahead and grab that hammock, read that book and hopefully it won’t rain on your achieved moment of rest.

Laying there, on my left side, in pain, all alone, letting my heart pray with the sway of the tree tops, I experienced rest! Deep rest! I had a smile on my face, my pain lessened a little, and I was able to emerge from our room later with a heart that was full. It had nothing to do with a clean counter, bills paid, healthy body or a secure future. It was Jesus, meeting me, on my left side, in the present moment, filling my heart with peace.

So, do you wonder if self-care is self-ish? Nope, it isn’t. Take some time, even now, and sit still in the presence of Jesus, pray whatever you can pray, however you want to and wait. This is the best hope I can offer you for real and lasting rest!!!