Is God’s “With-Me” Enough?
I’ve been making a playlist called ‘hospital’ on my phone as we’ve been spending time with loved ones there. I’ve noticed that most of the songs I am drawn to, the ones I am collecting, are about God’s promise that He is with us. God doesn’t say that he will fix our problems or smooth the path in front of us; He doesn’t promise to heal all sickness or solve relationship tension; He does promise, over and over again, that he will be with us.
But sometimes I wonder: is God’s presence enough? Is the fact that He promises to be with us, in fact, all we need?
My go-to default when I feel anxious is to organize something: my schedule, my desk, a cupboard. Give me a messy room to put in order, and I’m there!
One year, I volunteered one day a week with our church to organize its storage rooms. I listened to music, sipped coffee, and sorted things to keep, to donate, and to throw away. I found containers, boxes, labels, and just went for it. One of the board members called me “nuclear” for my sorting style. 😁
Organizing can be a gift that I offer, but it can also be a coping method for stress, an attempt to find security, safety, and predictability when anxiety rises.
However, some things cannot be organized. We can’t control other people; we can’t sort their choices or order their days. We can’t keep people from doing things that we don’t like or speed up choices that are not ours to make. We can’t control organizations or systems that are large and made up of many other autonomous humans. We can’t organize the weather, our income, or our health to be exactly as we want it to be. Some things must be left unorganized, unordered, disordered, unpredictable. And we have to learn to live with that.
A few years ago, I had surgery where my large intestine was removed, and a stoma was created on my abdomen with an ostomy bag. It has taken a long time to regain health and strength, but I'm getting there.
However, in the hospital, during my recovery time, I was sore, bandaged, exhausted, on strong pain medication, and nauseous. My husband had been caring for his elderly parents during the day and then would spend time with me in the hospital in the evening. He drove across the city, a 35-minute drive at night, in the dark, in the winter, to hang out with me. I invited him to sit with me in my hospital bed and talk about the day. A nurse came in and started looking through my bags, saying that there was a bomb threat in the hospital and so it was on lockdown. This particular hospital is in a rough section of our city, and so there are signs on the walls prohibiting all kinds of weapons. It’s not a comforting environment by any means, but it is where my surgeon worked out of and provided the care I needed.
Feeling vulnerable, with a freshly stitched abdomen, a weak body, and sleepy from medication, it felt safe to have my man with me. We sat there, took this photo, and talked about our days, waiting for the bomb threat to get sorted out.
Randy’s “with-ness” was enough. His presence didn’t change my circumstances or eliminate my pain, or the potential bomb, but provided a sense of safety, calm, and security. I was able to relax, laugh, feel loved, and not be alone in that moment. For me, it was a human experience of a loved one’s presence being enough.
But when we are alone, feeling lonely, afraid, facing illness, pain or death, rejection or isolation from loved ones, when plans fail, answers seem distant, and anxiety falls heavy on our hearts, is God’s presence enough?
Yes. I believe it is.
But that’s because in 33 years of chronic illness and pain, I have wanted OTHER answers instead…and in the lack of getting what I wanted, I felt I had no other choice than to take God at his word and look to him for comfort, love, security, to know that I wasn’t alone… and He was present! Not in a blinding light or booming thunder, but a quiet assurance, a peace that didn’t logically make sense…a calm sense of love in the midst of chaos.
“Your God is present among you, a strong Warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back, he’ll calm you with his love and delight you with his songs.” Zephaniah 3:17
“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness- everything coming together for good- will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” Philippians 4:7
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
“The Lord is my shepherd; I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters; he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23
Will you take some time this week to let yourself become more aware of God’s Presence? Slow down, breathe deeply, allow emotion to take its place, enter into the reality of your life, your fears, your joys, your hopes, your worries, and ask God to reveal His Presence to you.
“The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.”
Isaiah 40:28-31